Come As You Are (Man Man)

"Hold on to your heart
Hold it high above flood waters
Hold on to your heart
Never let nobody drag it under...
Hold on to your heart
Never let nobody take it over 
Ever take it over 
Ever take it over from you"

Christmas is not a "feel good" time. Any good Blue Christmas service will remind us of this, but it bear repeating: Yes, there is joy at Christmas. Wonder. Delight, even. But "happy?" "Feel-good?" Not requirements.

The only real 'requirement' of Christmas is that we show up at the stable. That's it. It's a pretty come-as-you-are day, actually. If we really, truly believed this, maybe more of us would arrive in tears, or yelling our heads off, or totally confused and wondering if we took a left-turn somewhere around Damascus. Instead we (I) tend to turn up like fake-smiling robots, maybe trying to get presents wrapped in time or trying to get kids to smile during the pageant or trying not to blow up at Aunt Margaret or trying not to say too much about how our life feels like its fraying at the edges... So, really, we don't show up at Christmas at all - our game-face does, but not us. 

We have a shadow-side (which we don't like to talk about) that keeps us from being fully present to life, others, God... even at Christmas. What I love about Man Man's "Head On" is that it acknowledges and owns this shadow side that so terrifies us, without anxiety, without giving in, and with a great deal of compassion.

"Are you dreaming of death?
Are there ghosts in your chest?
Are you always so restless?
Yes, you are --
Is that hard?

Hold on to your heart..."

Lyrics HERE

When we Shine On during Advent, though, we show up for life and accept our shadows, even at the stable of Christ's birth. We acknowledge pain and disillusionment, grief and fear... and we give our hearts to the world anyway. We give our hearts for and with each other, and we hold the hearts of others with care. We live with courage -- full heart.

"Therefore, since it is by God’s mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart...We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." 

- 2 Corinthians 4: 1, 7

To be full-hearted, we confront the shadows within us that cast themselves long over this season of short days. We hold on to our hearts; we persevere in love and trust. We agree to be vulnerable to grief and hope, to pain and confusion, and we consent to bring these strange riches right into the manger on Christmas and lay them at Jesus' feet. 

Because, after all, that infant is Jesus, who was the most full-hearted person ever to have lived. His deeply humane, rich, compassionate, authentic life could be an invitation: to live into the shadows and the light of Christmas fearlessly, head-on, and with joyful defiance of our cultural norms for a feel-good, 'picture-perfect' Christmas. 

And in the end, we do this because we know that what matters most at Christmas is that you and I are actually there, in-the-flesh, in-the-heart.

May you be brilliant in the truthfulness of your life, with others and with God. May you Shine On in rebellion against all that would stifle your heart. May you remember the God who invites you to the stable in love and in truth.

                                                                                    -- Anna