Star of Wondering (Anne Trenning)

The best Advent Bible study I have ever been to was with a bunch of 5-7 year olds. Sorry colleagues and friends, sorry pastors and teachers. And to be clear, I have participated in some excellent advent-themed discussions and studies. But my favorite, by far, was one cold Sunday morning, gathered around a table with twelve little hands passing between them figurines of Mary, Joseph and a donkey, while the teacher told the story of their long journey to Bethlehem and of Jesus' birth.

After the story the teacher said "Let's imagine about that long journey, what are some things you wonder about?" And slowly but surely the wonders started to emerge, "I wonder what a donkey feels like?" "Did Mary get cold?" "Did God wish he could hold Baby Jesus when he was born?" The wise teacher didn't answer the wonderings, but just let them hang in the air, sparking our imaginations. 

Advent is a time to wonder. A time when we are confronted with unabashed mysteries and questions whose answers dance just at the edge of our understanding.
A time for small wonders and big wonders, wonders that warm our spirits and those born of our deep longing- 
What do donkeys feel like? 
How do reindeer fly? 
How does selfless love come to us? 
How did such a big God fit into such a tiny baby? 
How can a person's heart change after so long a time? 
Will peace ever come? 

We hold the questions, we visit and revisit them, not as a theological exercise per say (although theologies are fine things to work on) but we hold them in a different way in this season. Maybe they are bathed in the light of hope or ringing an echo of Mary's assertion that all things are possible with God, or maybe they have just been dusted with the magical whimsy of our Christmas culture, a la It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. 

Even so, there is something in that story of a starlit manger, of God breaking into the world in such a way, that pulls us toward a deeper sense of wonder: that mix of awe and mystery and hope, that unsteady, tiptoed longing, reaching, imagining, marveling. Like a child who imagines Santa's trip around the world in one night or someone who open themselves to the mystery of a Love Incarnate. For this season promises one of the greatest wonders of all, that in the midst of our questioning and wondering and longing, Christ comes to dwell.


Today's song has no words. Instead I would encourage you to take these moments to wonder, to question, to marvel at this story, this promise, this hope to which we give our hearts year after year...

Please share with us some of your 'wonders' this season in the comments below.

-Lindsey

Too Much To Believe (The New Pornographers)

Joseph really doesn't get a lot of airtime in the Christmas story, or in Christmas music in general. So I love the depiction of Joseph in today's song as a worried, harried, slightly outcast partner, trying to decide if he can "be cool" with this whole Son-of-God Born-of-a-Virgin 'Christmas' thing. 

We know from Matthew's gospel that Joseph has a change of heart about his role with Mary (and therefore Jesus) after being visited by the Angel Gabriel in a dream, but I imagine this song taking place in the time before that strange dream, as Joseph wandered the streets, brooding, wondering what would become of his life plans. The song illustrates his thoughts like this: 

I know this child was sent here

to heal our broken time

and some things are bigger than we know

You're asking me to believe too many things

You're asking me to believe too many things...

Joseph Who Understood by The New Pornographers - Lyrics HERE.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God.

How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them -- they outnumber the grains of sand;

I come to the end -- I am still with you.

- Psalm 139: 17-18

One of the ways we often find ourselves holding the mystery as Advent draws us toward Christmas is when our intellectual doubts and our need for control rub up against the incomprehensibility of God. We find ourselves trying to believe too many things: that God became fully human in Christ; that this Jesus has something to do with us today; that God has not abandoned the world; that God cares at all about our puny, messy lives; that Christ will come again to reconcile and make new... it's all very heady stuff.

Luckily, believing isn't just about our minds. The root of the word 'believe' means "to give one's heart to." In the end, we are faced with one simple question: can we give our heart to this story of God Incarnate, of a mewling baby who will become the messiah of an upside-down kingdom of grace?

This is no small question. To give our hearts to this story asks something of us: we are called to wrestle a blessing from it, just as Joseph struggles in this song to wrestle a blessing from his strange circumstances. In the song he symbolizes more than just the Biblical character, but many doubting partners, many doubting hearts, asking, "Mary, is he mine?"

Is this small Christ, this someday-revolutionary, mine? Ours?  Not ours to own, but to cherish and wrestle with, to question and ponder, to hold in wonder and awe.  

What does your heart say as you venture deeper into the Christmas story?

May you find your heart captivated by a story to which you can give your heart anew each day, with awe and curiosity, creativity and hope.

                                                                                                 - Anna

Thurs Dec.29 Lightwork (Lupe Fiasco)

But now, says the LORD—
the one who created you, Jacob,
the one who formed you, Israel:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name;
you are mine.
-Isaiah 43:1

          The self-reflective nature of this song is resonating with me today. Beginning with Ellie Goulding’s opening lines “I had a way then, losing it all on my own. I had a heart then, the queen has been overthrown," moving to Lupe’s jolting entrance with “So, what are you going to stand for?” He proceeds to answer the question of himself while reflecting on the history and culture that inform his choices. The song is packed with allusions and commentary, which may or may not ruffle your feathers.

         Regardless, for me, the model holds. This is the time of year when we reflect, look at our lives, spare a moment for a little critical analysis. For me this is less than comfortable territory and, many years, gets relegated to the minutes that elapse between some party-goer asking about my New Year’s resolutions and me shoving food in my mouth to buy thinking time. But what if that wasn’t it this year? Can I take some moments to look at myself and assess honestly? What has been overthrown in my life? What is calling me home? What do I see that needs to be illuminated? And what am I wrestling? Maybe these aren’t even my questions but they are an entry point.

 Lupe Fiasco (feat. Ellie Goulding and Bassnectar)

**Some strong language

One way we hope forward is to summon the courage to question ourselves.  

          Though it is not the case for our friends in the southern hemisphere, I do frequently reflect on the placement of Christmas (and in fact celebrations in many religious traditions) during winter months.  In the short, dark days when we become sedentary and quieted and ruminative, comes a celebration, a hope, a light. It is that light of Christmas that illuminates my reflection, that hope that gives me courage to question and boldness to look honestly at myself.  For when Christ , Divine Love, was born into the mess and poverty of a stable, it meant that Divine Love could dwell in the mess of my life too; and if God’s grace is great enough to hold the world in a reparative embrace, then that grace can also surround all that I discover within myself.

So, I am taking some moments this week to live into that love and grace and ask some questions-

Where am I?  How am I? What am I standing for? How am I affecting the lives of others? How are others affecting my life?

 -as I hope forward into the New Year.

May we question courageously, secure in the hold of God's grace.

-Lindsey